as much as i really dont want to think or talk about it, it just hits me in my face.
spare me from all sorts of unwanted attention.
it just makes me question you - what's so **** about you.
it may be a good thing that this is happening, yet my heart wants it otherwise.

what should i really be doing?
i know i seriously cant handle at all.
maybe i should just sleep over it and it will all be better tomorrow.
i hope so.
as much as i yearn for things to happen, i dont want anything to happen.
time and season?
just let through me this 'agony' without much thoughts.
no regrets. no nothing.
just me and my walk with God - something that i concern myself more with.

is it really okay to anticipate good?
is it okay to hope for the impossible?
is it too much of me to ask?
rain the truths down on me.
whether it burns or kills - i need to know.
rather then wasting time on you.
you - source of my roller-coaster ride.
i didnt want any of it. yet im sucked into this whirlpool.

deception maybe the scapegoat.
the greater evil?
HAHAHA.
me.
the multiple sides of me, fooling me.
















p.s. just need to get all the stuffs outta my mind out, hence the really queer phrasing and sentence structure.
- learnt about Blake's conventions in poetry during lecture yesterday = it was mentally draining. =X