i had the bestest time tis few days. its juz so amazing. i helped out at the children's camp n yup it was alot of fun hanging out with the kids n yup. they r definitely not bundles of joy but bundles of innocence..haha ya helped out since mon till tues..he's there too i dun feel anyting much so i had drawn a conclusion tat i'm neutral! its nice for once tat i can really be honest with myself but sometimes when bernice asks me " are u sure u feel nothing?" my mind starts to b in deep thoughts as though i'm doing some soul searching...argh...i had to admit defeat to tat..sigh but then i'm ok abt it

ya hmm the pre-camp thingy was FABULOUS ! its juz beyond words! its so nice we had games played in the rain the weather really sux n most of us caught a cold . i'm glad i'm ok alt i felt bad n uneasy. i had to forgo my party!! aww.. i already promised Louisa but well i've to treat her to make up for it. heez the best part was getting to know each other better n i guess its a worthwhile day somehow i was reflecting on my decision on wanting gemi on my group..i wanted her but i tot of chuns hmm...wonder if she's offended or wat but i tink she isnt tat sort of person.. she's nice n social u juz got to take the initative to talk to her.. ya

went to sing karaoke with silin rich n dan. wasnt really keen to do it but den after tat i got pretty hooked haha..fun hanging out wif them. silin's going to China sigh. i gonna miss her..she'll b back next jan..tat's so long..wish she didnt had to go

oh ya there's something i feel tat i haf to add.. at service the pastor did someting never b4. He ask the congre. to kneel down with him b4 God. n i tell u everyone juz did tat. i'm convinced tat the holy spirit is there with us n i'm so touched tat the moment i knelt my eyes watered not with sadness but with joy. but also the pastor led us in a prayer of repentence tat i started to cry. cuz i needed God n ya. also my church is undergoing renewal n tat each n every of the member is going thru is as well..its a very spectacular thing!! i'm convinced tat God's gonna lead my church to a greater level with him..
hehe.. amen!! :)

today i had the bestest of time at church!!
today we help out at the children's camp n yup i got to know great kids there! seeing them praising n loving God brings me back memories of me when i was little then at sunday school..tat enthusicism n hyperness n those loud 'YESs'...definitely can burst pple's eardrums..now i understand how kids r really noisey in numbers
haha today celeste shared abt having faith n adjusting our lives to God.She posted this question to all of us present (me jane chunsi) n it set me tinking real hard..on which aspect of my live can i adjuz so that God can do His work in me?
i better spent tis few days tinking abt it n i ask God to speak to me personally.
well today i've a totally different feeling.i felt refreshed n renewed in some ways n today we had a really short worship session lead by daniel n i'm juz asking God to speak to me. the song we sang 'i cud sing of ur love forever' has been always a hit to me n ya tis time it carries a different feeling. i'm so glad tat i can sing out loud tat his LOVE is LOUD n tat i'm glad to be his child. thirsting for his words.
today he talked to me.i'm pretty surprised though but den i guess it shld haf pulled us slightly closer? haha i shldnt be thinking tat much.yup. Celeste shared with us tat God had already prepared a group of pple tat's meant for us so we shld be holding on to our faith n be patient n wait for God to reveal in His time..yup
i guess tis has the greatest impact? haha Thank God for tis wonderful day

today i went out n caught myself drifting away in thoughs of ultimate fantasy
hmm. better snap out of that horrible 'flight of fantasy' juz to escape reality? nahz i'm not tat kind of person lolx

juz started this blog
somehow i feel tat tis can help me feel better each day juz expressing how i feel.hopeful
Sighz.i'm been so troubled lately n i cant stop feeling negative towards feelings. i really dont wish to feel anything for anyone! juz sick of this issue for a really long time.
to sum it up .. i dont care!
mayb i can comment abt tis present guy or mayb there isnt any at all. i'm juz so stuck in my barrier!! i wonder if i really did like him or he's juz a bro to me...argh!! sometimes i wish i'm juz not denying my feelings or rather juz hope i can wake up!!
i'm juz wrestling with how i feel n till tis day i still haf no answer to it.. but then to recall how i actually notice him..i rem in dec last year i saw him at a camp i went..he's juz so special (maybe he plays the guit? ) ya.hmm...den we didnt talk at all until the end of my mid-year exams tis year..i went to church juz to chill out after my paper n den..we talked tat day sharing an umbrella under the rain...its juz so sweet...thinking abt tat day...
well..that's the start of me really noticing him...
hha...well..i shall say something the next post...but now i feel rather relieved though... :P