i cant go on pretending anymore.

i am clearly still affected by 'it'. this sounds so wrong and ridiculous cause i've simply no reason to be upset about it. it is supposingly something good for both of us, well i guess for me, it is a closure. a closure, finally, to my months of headaches and heartaches. maybe yes. maybe no. just cant seem to be happy at all.

lots of things reminds me of you and you alone. the way you used to do things, the things you used to say, the jokes you used to crack, the way you used to smile, the songs you used to share... it is just endless. everything seems to be a dream. so perfect, something incredible. having something for you clearly is a big mistake.

sometimes i wonder if i've become vulnerable. remember telling you how much i used to dislike you the first time i met you. totally bad impression that i remember that i would not want to be near you. things have changed. we had to work together. months have passed, you did appealed to me but i wasnt aware until...

the song goes, " how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you? could you tell me how could it be when everything gets better than this."

the utter irony. im simply taken back by this phrase. something isnt right with me. i'm really shocked that you actually changed my impression of you within months. i must really applaud you for it cause it is never easy for me to change my impression of people whom i really dislike. you are the first to break that 'record'. now isnt that something?

ignorance is bliss. it has been so for now. ignoring you is the thing now. everything seemed fine until i realised i cant help it anymore. my conscience has been knocking at my heart. the struggle in me. sigh. its upsetting to know that i havent move on yet.

time is everything i need now. definitely. only time will heal the wounds completely. sometimes i wonder if i did the right thing of keeping mum. nothing is justifiable but at least, things are fine. sparing myself another round of such issues is encouraging especially having such silly ones.

concealing all my emotions within isnt a nice feeling. pretence isnt my game. i had to let those emotions out. nothing came out. an indication that i'm probably okay about it.

then again, i will never look at you the same way. things have changed.
i'm happy for the closure of this issue finally. something that i can leave in right behind my mind unless some weird stuff triggers it. you taught me something actually but i cant exactly thank you for it. oh well.

prelims are in approx 3 weeks with GP coming in on 26 of this month and lit paper 8 on 9 of next month. the adrenaline of events and energy to just punch a sandbag has finally, found her place on my books. revision is in motion again. feeling good about myself. gonna give my best now. double the amount, twice the adrenaline. wee~

lol. full-suit in the armour of God. i'm ready to battle life's challenges.

( this entry is supposingly emo, however as i blogged, i felt this sense of release and peace. =] )

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had guitar farewell during national day.
gonna miss these lovable people greatly.
9th BATCH SRGE. simply irresistable. XD


me and mabs during national day. doing the 'M' sign. lame arent we? dont we remind you of something yummy? haha.

hee. the pretty girls of the Guitar Ensemble. gonna miss these girls mighty loads. =D

me and my fav 'J's in the Ensemble.

miserable me missing these girls too.

yay! presenting my FAV group of people.

Sector IV

J1s and J2s bonding like a family.

wee~

Wanyi, me and Jody.

dont these 2 girls look so good?

oh, Wanyi is a GB girl too.

cool huh? XD

haha the' movie clique' with Kevin, our instructor.

my other fav 'J' and me. showing how unhappy we are after we are reminded of our last days as a Ensemble.

me and my FAV girl, doreen. knew her much earlier during Orientation. sweetie pie. bambi-doe eyes. natural eye liner.her birthday is a day b4 mine.

Wee~

Willy Boy( that's what Jody calls Wilson) and us. :D