fatigue.
drains me out. havent been able to do many things of late.
things i really want to do. i cant do them. anymore.
every waking time is allocated to work, work and more work.
where's the sense?
5 months more of conformity. i cant hardly wait to bid goodbye.

sometimes i wonder to laugh or cry. at myself.
its like you know you are okay but at the most crucial moment or rather critical moments, it betrays you. it makes you look bad. as though you have lied about what you meant initially. haha. life's such a joke right now. nothing's quite the same anymore. no matter how honest i am about my feelings towards work and people, i'm always wearing a facade. i dont have to hide that fact. my facade unknowingly finds itself on my face, under different circumstances.

i'm tired of the facade! its hurting to even wear that now. i'm not okay!
somethings i try to hide but i couldnt! my tears are overflowing. its been too much to bear inside. i tried escaping but it haunts me. i need time, more time!
help. someone help me.

i cant run from it anymore. its all so not sensible anymore. even my own heart has betrayed me. the facade? its useless. i nearly died before i actually could walk up to you and talked to you. i wonder what's so good about you? you have charisma that i couldnt resist admiring. what else? i used to dislike you in the beginning?

haha.

move on you silly girl.
its just a diversion or distraction tactic to get you away from the main problem.
maybe you should thank him yeah.


whatever. this thing will go.
work will take his place somehow, somewhere, sometime.






unshakeable facade of ignorance hides my heart from the truth - about you & me