i cant take it anymore. its just driving me nuts. i wished this guessing game would stop. i'm not in any position to know anything. i'm always the one being left behind. its okay. i've gotta used to it, it doesnt matters anymore. besides i've no time, trying to catch up or be informed. life's really so unpredictable. you dont know what comes and gives you a wack on the head and yeah, you wake up being different or just not being you.

that just stinks a hell lot. where's the old me? where is it? sometimes i rather be the old me, still not that bothered or just simply live in faith that everything is being taken care of by Him. why do those thoughts come and bug me? LEAVE ME ALONE!! i've suffered enough, havent i?
its not even once that i'm hurt. 4 times. havent i learnt my lesson yet? i dont want to know. i dont want to feel anything.

i'm so disappointed. my heart is not what she used to be strong and brave. not anymore. i'm just putting a front that i'm so so so tired of. i wished i can just sleep and not wake tomorrow. maybe life would be better for me. enough of headaches and disappointment with people. its not about you, its just some other people.

i want my life back! i want to be loved again! =X


=> this is what i have been going thru for sometime. i really cant take it anymore. pretending i'm okay cuz i've havent been. just brushing aside. tinking that stress is the factor. no. i'm just so wrong. my life's the biggest joke now. HAHA!