i hate shopping!! to me shopping is just like heaven and i'm on earth. looking at those nice clothes that's like super nice and trendy, i only can see and touch but with no chance of actually wearing them. each time visiting a boutique with friends is something i had to had to put up with and just pretend i'm browsing with no intention to buy. in actually fact i'm not interested in getting clothes. the pain of not able to get clothes your size is simply enbearable. i hate it! i always envy girls with really nice bods and they can carry anything off just splendid. it just looks so good on them and super disguisting on me. why am i so big-sized?

looking at those stuffs is just looking at something unreachable cause i know i will not have them. what's the use of buying something you cant even wear or maybe they dont even have your size?

i've taken to notice that guys would date girls or maybe interested in girls that are much slimmer than me. what's with me man? every single guy is like that. what crap about appearance that they wouldnt mind? IN ACTUAL FACT THEY DO OK! they feel that getting a good-looking gf can give them some form of superiority among their brothers. what do you think? a image contest? :(

i feel so crap about myself. there's nothing about me tat's special. no guys would bother looking at me. no matter how hard i try, i just feel like shit. on the surface i dont seem to be really bothered, inside i'm just hurt and upset. i mean just face it, every guy that i used to feel something for, always ended up liking girls that are much more slimmer than me.

i guess this sums up my conclusion. that i hate going out! =(