listening to : 7th day slumber --- Running away
Lifehouse-----------Only One
Coldplay------------The Scientist

wat a day it has been. finished my chores earlier and glued myself to the tv set. all sorts of emotions juz came in then. as i recalled the whole nite. alot of stuffs just happened to me. just didnt feel good at all. lots of stuffs revealed to me in bundles and it came all together in a package just didnt know how to react to it. like for instance someone came up to me n spilled her innermost self to me. i'm speechless at it. wat's more than tat was finding out more stuffs abt my bro. tat killed me so much. i really wonder wat's in his mind tis days. can someone tell me? disappointed tears flowed down my cheek as i talked to dan. he didnt noe wat to say to me either but i noe inside me. i scared pple ard me. i msg vinc last nite. felt really down n out. tinking abt my family's spiritual condition i juz didnt noe wat to do. since dan said he's gonna sleep so i msg vinc. juz needed someone to talk to. he was indeed shocked i guess frm the replies he sent back. felt bad making him shock. he talked sense to me which is his usual way. i noe i was disappointed half-way cuz sensing the same reply he gave i switch-off my fone. i prayed n i felt at peace then. cuz he said something. always pray when u haf probs.

after i switch on my fone. he replied. tat shocked me. i tot he's the type tat tries to end conversations fast. hmm tat really made me looked at him differently. guess he does care for his frens alot. i did my quiet time aft tat i made some self-reflection. indeed there's things tat i wun noe unless i seek Him. at tat moment i felt i need God more den anything else. tat soliltudary at the moment was juz exellent i was beginning to like it. wat else i cudnt get to sleep either. somehow i got in touch with my innerself. for once i felt tat my innerself is being released frm all sorts of emotions n juz the plain me surface. how i wish tis can happen more often.

one thing i sure noe for sure now. frens r really important to me. i wun wan to risk anything to lose frens tat r valuable. never. i got to have more faith n also i wan to grow in His words. never will i forsake God again. never.

one thing. i decided to forget everything abt vinc. all the feelings etc. it shldnt haf been there in the first place if i hadnt given in to temptation. hmm he touched me . my innermost self. my heart was juz so comforted tat i had found a fren tat is able to listen to me. really thank God for it. mayb i've matured alittle over the year n definitely i'm waiting for the One till the day he comes into my life. :)